Abundance

When you come from a place of neediness, the world will reject you. When you come from a place of abundance, doors will open.

Abundance allows you to see the world for what it really is. There is always another opportunity. Until the day you die, you have potential, you have opportunity, you can grow.

No matter how down you are, no matter how defeated or depressed or humilited you are in this very moment… there is always tomorrow.

Abundance allows you to have choices. It doesn’t make you feel bound to any one situation or instance. When you adopt not only a philosophy but a lifestyle of abundance, you become less needy and dependent, and begin to radiate value rather than absorb it. The more you have, the more you can give.

Go out there and live your life, you only get one life, and you will be dead soon.

We all will.

Today think deeply about the following question:

What is one thing you wish you had done before you died?

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Dance Floor Game Part 2

So I’m going to assume at this point you’ve found the girl you want to dance with. Now, before she sees you take a minute to analyze the situation. If she is by herself, great! Approach from the front and go get her! But what if she is in a group, you may need a wingman to help facilitate the process.

Now, BY FAR the easiest girl to dance with, is the girl dancing alone while her friend is dancing with a guy nearby. Think about why this might be so….

Obviously she wants to dance with someone as well. Unless she has a boyfriend or she just doesn’t like your approach, almost all of the time she will dance with you just so she doesn’t have to watch her friend dance with a guy, feeling depressed and lonely. Well maybe not depressed and lonely, but you get the idea…

In a larger group of girls, you might need a wingman to go in the middle and blow it up, cause a distraction so you can isolate and dance with your girl. However I often go out without a wingman, so I will detail how I pull girls from a nightclub, and how I start dancing with them without talking or asking.

1. Walk around the club until you find a girl that you think is attractive. Be cool.
2. Look for eye contact or an approach invitation. If the girl wants to dance with you most likely she will make eye contact, this makes everything easier.
3. Reach your hand out for her hand, oftentimes if she doesn’t give me her hand, immediately I will grab hers and attempt to spin her. If she lets you grab her hand, you are in. You can tell almost immediately how into you she is by how easily you can spin and move her on the dance floor.
4. Talk in her ear, fluff talk, what you say doesn’t really matter, just don’t wait too long. You won’t be able to hear much but your goal should be to become more than an attractive stranger, exchange names ASAP.
5. Move her off the dance floor, go sit down with her and have a real conversation. Qualification and comfort. Couches in nightclubs are where the work gets done.
6. Go dance with her again, when the time comes to leave the club, try to get her to leave with you. Don’t ask her to your apartment. After party, pizza, etc is much better. That way in her mind she isn’t leaving to have sex with you, she is just leaving to do something with you. Trust me on this one.

Eye contact, grab hand, spin, bump and grind, talk, move off dance floor for drinks etc, bounce out of club. Rinse and Repeat.

Couple things to note. If a girl tells you she has to goto the bathroom, you usually just got rejected. If she really has to go, she will tell you to stay there until she gets back. Don’t do this. Go talk to other girls and find her later.

If her friends are dancing near you too and then they leave you two, this is very good. This means they approve of you, even if just a little.

You should be dancing pre-approach, please don’t stand around and lurk. You really don’t have to be a spectacular dancer, you just have to be confident and have fun. Fun is extremely valuable in a club. I have seen many unfashionable, fat, ugly guys dance with super hot girls simply because they were having fun in their own world dancing confidently, and didn’t care what anyone else thought.

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Dance Floor Game Part 1

Dance Floor Game

OK so you’ve found yourself in a loud club. The lights are disorientating, and you wonder why you just paid 25$ to get in. There are hot girls are everywhere, but they are in closed off group, and forget talking to them, the music is so oppressively loud, you think you can feel your liver vibrating.

I’ve seen many a player who is nice with the verbals in a bar, but really can’t get action in a busy, loud overwhelming nightclub. Hey, its hard when you can’t really talk on the approach. All the things you have read about opening lines or opinion openers are nil and void in this environment. You need to be direct and you only have several things to affect your value in their eyes before you approach.

Who are you with?

You can bet your life that people will perceive you differently if you are alone, or talking to one guy in the corner, or having a great time dancing with 2 chicks. The people you are with, and their perceived value, have a huge affect on what the people observing you think about you in a club environment. You can easily manipulate this to your favor however…

When do you make your move?

If you are standing around a group of girls gathering the balls to ask them to dance. Do yourself a favor, and don’t even try. Women are super aware of guys that are lurking around them. If you want to ask them to dance, you have to have no hesitation. As soon as you see them that’s when you go, we’ll get to how later.

If you aren’t ready to make a move yet, you just want to scope out the club, that’s fine, keep moving. This works vastly better in a huge nightclub then in a small lounge. Chances are in a huge busy nightclub, people won’t really notice you unless you are lurking around. Feel free to hunt. Just keep moving. In a lounge, most of your moves can be seen, so if you get blown out hard, that could ruin your night. A big nightclub doesn’t involve that risk. Keep moving, find a girl, then approach.

How are you moving?

Bar none the most important aspect to how people perceive you in a club is your body language. This can be said for many aspects of life, but in a sexually charged atmosphere such as a nightclub, your body language can make or break you. Read more about body language here.

And Stay Tuned for Part 2 coming soon….

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Are you a loser, or are you a closer?

So you’ve done the hard part. You’ve successfully gotten a women away from the bar, back to your apartment, up to your room, and into your bed. Game over, right?

Wrong!

Most women at this point will not give it up without at least some resistance.

There could be many underlying reasons, but basically she doesn’t want you to think she is a slut because she gave it up too easy. Which is why it is extremely important never to be judgmental about sex–> if you want to get laid crazy amounts, that is.

Factors such as time spent together, how much she knows you, how horny she is will play a huge role, unless you know this tactic.

The freeze out. The freeze out is not a new concept, in fact it has mentioned by many a player over the years. And it works as such: Girl says you two aren’t having sex. You say “ok” and stop hooking up with her.

That’s it!

Haha, ok so there is a bit more but the concept I want to convey is indifference, you cannot care if you two sleep together, you have to make it known to her that it is not a big deal if you don’t have sex that night. The idea being that she has always wanted to have sex and wanted to put up token resistance for a number of reasons, none of which matter, so that we would confess our undying love and beg her to give it up.

We are men. And we do not beg.

We act as if.

We act as if we get laid so much it doesn’t matter if this one random girl wants to fuck us or not!

So she says we aren’t sleeping together, and we go check our email, or watch tv, or fake falling asleep. And when she reingages because you’ve gotten her so fired up, and then taken it away, well lets just say she won’t put up that fake front again. And even if she does.

Rinse and Repeat.

Just say OK again and start to fall asleep.

You actually have to not care if you don’t have sex. Never be judgemental, annoyed, angry, whatever. Chill out. Its just sex. Read my blog more and you will get plenty.

Indifference.

Women think guys are horny as hell and will stop at nothing to get them into bed… and when we do this, and then act indifferent at the last minute, it drives them crazy!

Because now they aren’t fighting you, they are fighting themselves, and you are agreeing with them. Works like a charm.

Another tactic is for YOU to suggest

“no we aren’t sleeping together, i don’t know you well enough.”

By preempting what she would have said, and saying it yourself, you gain the upper hand.

OR

You could say something along the lines of “sex isn’t on my agenda tonight, i just want to get to know you better, and i know it will happen eventually”

Now go out there and be a closer.

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Audio Coming Soon

New podcasts with my good freind Dan Faggella –check him out @ Danfaggella.com — will be forthcoming in the following weeks.

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Body Language Series – Walking and Moving

Walking is one of the ways that people judge who are you and can become instantly attracted to you.  Watch how guys who get a lot of girls move, and you will see it is completely different than those who don’t. Take a minute and watch a James Bond movie, notice how confidently and slow he moves around women. Watch the indiffernce conveyed by Brad Pitt’s body language in Fight Club. Watch the dramatic and bold movements made by Christopher Evan Welch in Vicky Christina Barcelona. All these people look unshakeable, they look as though a plane could crash across the street and they wouldn’t react.

Through our body language we sub communicate to the world our opinions of ourselves. Since people are constantly looking for shortcuts to judge people and put them in categories, by changing your body language, you change the way the world sees you.

Look at how someone who is in a good mood and confident walks compared to someone who is down on themselves.  Look at some loser guy and see how he walks compared to someone else who knows he is the shit. Look how unattractive girls walk compared to a girl that is a model. Confidence, that’s it. And the funny thing about confidence is its all in your head. There is no measurable, quantifiable amount of confidence you can achieve in life. It all comes from within, from your self-esteem.

Specific Tips for Attractive Movement:

Slow down. Take your time. Stop moving through the world and start moving the world through you.

Make dramatic, purposeful movements. -Walk like you think everyone is watching you and all the men want to be you and the women want to sleep with you, and you don’t care about either.

Good posture– back straight.

Head Up

No Hesitation

Taking up space – obviously don’t cross your arms

Stop moving out of the way of people. Hold your ground and they will move for you. (except old people and children, and don’t go around knocking people over) if they are in your way, gently move them with your hands and avoid them.

Your body language is the first thing people notice about you, let them notice how confident you are.

Movement in a club

Moving around a club is hugely important for attracting women pre-approach. If you are standing around lurking, you are going to blow yourself out of any chance with those girls. Either go talk to them, or keep moving. Moving in a club is slightly different than the real world because lights are crazy and music is loud and people are everywhere. Turn up the body language as such.

Absolutely believe that you are a spectacle to be witnessed. Throw in some dance moves. Have fun! Move gracefully and with purpose, and look for girls who are checking you out. When you notice one, go and talk to her immediately, OR go and talk to other girls near her first. When she sees you being social and talking to other women, your perceived value in her mind will increase. Go get her champ.

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Body Language Series – Eye Contact

Are you looking people in the eyes? Could you maybe do it more?

People will respect you more and treat you differently when you are making direct eye contact. They say that “the eyes are the window to the soul” and why I may not buy all of that, I do agree that you can tell a lot about a person by how they communicate with you, and eye contact is a huge and vital part of personal relationships.

Studies have shown that eye contact alone can actually create feelings of attraction.

Not only that, but people who look you in the eye are seen as more trustworthy and confident, clearly all good things for someone looking to step up their dating game.

Next time you walk down the street, try to maintain eye contact with people. Implement this into other areas of your life and you will see the benefits.

If they are an attractive member of the opposite sex, give a slight smile, and stop and talk to them. Nothing bad can happen! The danger you feel in your mind is not real!

Most people walk around with their head down, headphones on or using their cell phones for god knows what. Be different. Look people in the eye, and strike up conversations with random people, they will appreciate your outward kindness. Be normal and outgoing and rarely will a person have anything but good things to say in return. Its not so dangerous out there. Sometimes as humans we live in a world of fear. But once we realize that this fear is not real that it is just walls we have built in our own minds, we can be free to live the life we want to live.

Quick tip: If you are on date with a girl and se is comfortable holding eye contact for more than 3 seconds at a time, you are doing great. If you are doing this and you can touch her hair, she is ready to be kissed.

Another quick tip: There are two distinct types of “triangle gazing” you can use when talking with someone. One involves switching your focal point on the other person from eye, to eye to mouth and back again. This basically signals you want to kiss the other person. Don’t use this in business settings.

Another type is switching your eyes focus from eye to forehead to eye. This is uncomfortable for the other person and puts the pressure on. Use this when you want a decision out of the other person and you want to make them feel forced. Great for business settings.

Further Reading: Psychology Articles on Eye Contact and attraction, Body Language Books by Alan Pease such as The Definitive Book On Body Language

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