How to be a good wingman.

“A good wingman doesn’t help his friend get laid, a good wingman puts pussy on a platter”- Adam Lyons

What is a good wingman?

-A good wingman is always there for you.

-pulls you back up if you get reject harshly

-will “take one for the team”

-helps to facilitate every step of the process logistically.

– will only have good things to say about you. A good wingman is also quite capable of getting laid himself.

– has superior social skills, and is able to talk to random strangers of either sex at ease.

-will vibe with you and help you to reach peak emotional state

-will have fun and mess around and provide fun for the nights that are “off”

Right off the bat, and I shouldn’t even need to say this, but never, EVER be negative towards your wingman in an ATTEMPT to LOOK COOL in front of a new group. These RANDOM people that you JUST MET, should not be more important than a good friend. And even if you don’t particularly like your wingman, it makes you look better to be friends with a cool guy than a loser.

Things to do as a wingman:

Talk to people.

Open up NEW sets of people and start conversation, then introduce your wingman. Give him a good introduction. Sometimes you can go over the top and state how awesome he is, but other times its nice just to say his name and let him show his value for himself. Really cool people don’t need to tell everyone they are awesome.

At some point, tell the group or target something interesting about him, perhaps something he might be bashful to tell himself. This works particularly well for certain issues; money, fame or accomplishments would sound like bragging if he said them himself and even then they might take a while to come up in conversation naturally. However, you can include his accolades in the introduction or later in the conversation, and demonstrate how high of value your wingman happens to be.

Help with logistics.

Its on between your buddy and his girl. She is really hot, and they have been talking all night. Unfortunately that girl is out with a friend, and for whatever reason, she feels the need to talk about her 9 cats, also her breath smells like a toilet at a reststop. So, hopefully you have some semblance of standards and you two haven’t hit it off.

Now I’m not saying you have to hook up with cat girl, but you do owe it to your wing to attempt to keep her occupied so that she doesn’t blow up the whole thing. Now if your buddy is super smooth, he may not even need you here, BUT you should make every effort to help bring them along to the final destination (your wing and his girl in a bedroom). If you can get them there, and lets say you are in the living room with stink breath, your work is pretty much over. Just try to be really boring and maybe stink breath will fall asleep and you can slip out the back.

For this next part I cite Rob Judge, a dating coach in NYC who has given me permission to pass on his words of wisdom on…

Taking One For The Team

Sometimes, however, a friend will not “play ball” with your wing. Maybe she’s jealous of her friend, has a serious boyfriend, or simply is not in the mood to meet guys. Regardless, your wing should read the situation and back off. He should try to minimize the resistance your girl’s friend may exert on you and your girl. He can do this by saying something like, “Hey look, I think you’re a cool girl, but I can see we’re not as into each other as our friends. So let’s just hang out and not feel awkward or feel like we need to be all over each other. But also, let’s give our friends space to get to know each other, too. They really seem to like each other. How long have you known your friend for?” From there, your wing should casually drop in some details that let’s her friend know you are a normal, safe guy (e.g. he should mention your job, education, where you live, your relationship with your family, etc.).

Wow great advice Rob. Check out his site at See how you are turning the negativity into neutrality because instead of butting heads, you are both now agreeing to set up your friends. Neutralizing mother hen watching over her little chicks, THIS is putting pussy on a platter.      Great book, check it out!

Back to my words of wisdom to discuss some things you should not do…

Things NOT to do as a wingman:

DO NOT: Talk too much to your wingman.

You are OUT! That means you should talk to NEW girls. Too often I see two guys talking to each other in a bar most of the time because they are trying to look cool while attempting to escape the uncomfortable reality of walking up to a stranger and starting a conversation. (which if you think about it, isn’t so bad anyway.) Don’t talk to your buddy. Talk to GIRLS! Then go talk to more girls.

DO NOT: Fight over 1 girl.

Do you know how many people there are in the world? There are almost 7 billion. Why do you need to fight with your friend over one! Most of the time when this happens, neither of you get laid! Teamwork fellas! Sometimes it is helpful to decide beforehand which one you each will target. The caveat being, it is somewhat important to see how the girls react to you before putting all your proverbial eggs in one basket. That being said, all’s fair in love and war…

DO NOT: Talk to your wing when he is talking to a girl. No one cares if you are bored or uncomfortable, go spit some game on your own, your wing is putting in work and doesn’t need you to come in and mess it up. Leave him be.

DO NOT: Ignore, insult or deliberately lower the value of your wing.

Not only is this unacceptable behavior from a friend, but it really makes YOU look bad to whoever you are talking to. Why would you care about some strangers opinions more than the opinion of your friend? Is it just because they are girls? If so, that is really lame. You should like your wingman, and desire for him and you to succeed. Why would you hang around someone if you don’t like them? These are questions the people you are talking to will ask themselves if they see you being a dick to your friend.

Next Level…

A wingman can be a powerful to have when out and about at night. Sometimes however it is hard to balance when you or your wing is vastly better with women OR when you are both very competent on your own, you may find the 2v2 set a waste of time, when really you want to be having isolated conversations with 1 chica.

For example I present this scenario: you and your wing go and talk to two girls, but they are visibly more into you. He gets annoyed and discouraged and wants to go meet other people, and says something insulting, now you are doing damage control.

QUESTION: How could this whole situation be circumvented?

ANSWER: Ghost Winging

Ladies and Gentlemen: I present, ghost winging. “Ghost winging” involves you going in a striking up a conversation with 2 girls, and talking mostly to one of them, when your wing comes in and talks to the 2nd girl immediately or shortly afterwards, WIHTOUT ADRESSING YOU OR YOUR GIRL… thus circumventing the pointless group talk of 4 people, and allows you and your wing to jump straight into 1v1 conversations. The girls don’t even need to know you and your wing are friends!

Social Winging.

Its fun to go out to a bar or club and meet random new people, but at the same time, its nice to kick back and chill at a party once and a while too. The rules for a good wingman are different at a party.

A good wingman brings his wing into his social circle and lets him meet your friends (be it girl or guy) with a great introduction.  If your buddy says hands off a particular girl, shes mine OR she has a boyfriend, then respect that. Communication is key, and he can pretty much set you up with any chick there. If they are his friends and he knows what he is doing, but try not to hit on every girl or creep out his solid girl friends, that would not be chill.

At a bar, it doesn’t really matter, you probably won’t see these people again, but in a social circle, particularly one that isn’t yours, but you have been allowed into, be respectful of social normalcy.

Finding a wingman out at a bar.

Pretty much any guy could be your potential wing, but how do you go about meeting them. Well, from my experience, the guys who are the best wings possess the qualities above, and I usually meet them when I meet a new group of people, and it happens to be a mixed set, that is girls and guys- I will usually talk to the guys first. From this you sometimes find out the girls may or may not have boyfriends, and the guys are just friends.

In any case what I am trying to say is just because you see girls with guys does not mean they

1. Are in a relationship

2. Are even friends

3. Met them more than 5 minutes ago

Any of these guys are candidates for makeshift wingmen, and you can use them to get the girls they are with. That being said, the real goal for makeshift wingmen should be the rich guys with bottle service. You bring them girls, and then you drink for free. You can pretty much walk up to any girl in the club and offer free drinks and they will follow. Now you drink for free, have lots of girls seated, and you made some new friends.

Next time you are out, I encourage you to try ghost winging, using rich guys for free drinks but most importantly, go talk to some hot chicks!

Now stop reading this and go talk to some hot chicks!


You want to know the easiest way to get a girl out of a club?

Its NOT inviting her to your house, or apartment or dorm room. Its inviting her to get FOOD.  I don’t need to tell you this, but drunk people get the munchies. You are out dancing all night, you get hungry, it’s that simple. So use this to your advantage. Talk about this sweet pizzia place EARLY on in the interaction, then later you can bring it up again to use for extraction purposes.

Going to get food is far less sketchy in her mind than going to a stranger’s apartment. Plus, women need a plausible excuse in their mind as to why they are leaving with you other than to have sexy time. So next time you are out, plan to bring a girl back to the Chinese food place across the street, then, when its “too crowded” to eat there, you can bring her back to your apartment.

Now really, go pick up some hot chicks!


About Date Coach Boston

I specialize in understanding social dynamics. I then pass this skill to others for a small fee. How much would you pay to date the woman of your dreams? With my coaching, you can reach your potential.
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One Response to How to be a good wingman.

  1. Pingback: Dance Floor Game Part 2 | Free Dating Advice – Natural Pick Up Arts

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